A paleblue midnight arabesque

2012-01-02T10:16:00.001-08:00

Nice to be back here... I just love the way this blog wraps part of my life.. Keep it going...

Happy New Year!

2010-07-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

You Make it Real for me by James Morrison

Mmmmm
There's so much craziness, surrounding me
There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
You make it real for me
When I'm not sure of, my priorities

When I've lost site of, where I'm meant to be
Like holy water, washing over me
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
You are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak
I'm full of arrogance, and uncertainty
But I can find the words, you teach my heart to speak
You make it real for meee, yeaaa

And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who saved me
That's whyyy I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me
Ohhh

Everybodies talking in words I don't understand
You got to be the only one
Who knows just who I am
Your shinin in the distance
I hope I can make it through
Cause the only place That I want to be
Is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more
I have to learn
But if you're here with me
I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere,
Somewhere I can learn
You make it real for me
And I'm running to you baby
Cause you are the only one who saved me
That's why I've been missing you lately
Cause you make it real for me

You make it real for me

2010-05-28T23:58:00.000-07:00

its been quite a while.

To start your day with failure is something you will never wish to happen to your existence, for you carry the whole of it all through out the day. i am having one now-trying to stop the things i never wished will happen to me but yes it is occuring.

Having missed an appointment, getting some early morning sermons, and battling personal issues oh my, these are just few of those many that i am supressing and fighting right now. I am looking at the greater possibility that through this writing, some part of me will be okay. a portion of that unhealed big wound will be okay, or hoping for numbness to prevail all through my life.

Life comes with many mysteries,many colors and surely, many ups and downs. i always wanted to be happy and i believe that everybody wants to be one. But what is happinness now? am i happy? where am i when it comes to happinness, with my life, career, emotions, etc.

I too cannot answer these questions. mind buggling as they are, i am caught in so many crossroads. i know that these answers are just in these roads where i am now. Just needed to stop and yes, pause and look at it in a more critical rather in an emotional way. But how? i do not know.

I am writing in this room, in the metropolitan city if Manila while listening to songs that in a way gives a soothing effect to what i am feeling right now. this is just so TRAGIC.

I will just keep on sailing and trying to be okay. this is one of the lowest and saddest moments in my life. and again hoping that happinness will envelope its meaning on me. It is something we want to have, and it is subjective but still many factors thrive to these concepts of achieving happinness. Gone are the days when you worry much only your exams and the allowance you get from your parents. but now, its an entirely different picture. You earn your keep, and you need to freaking work your ass off just to be okay. but it pains me to know that at the end of the day, you go back to your room and ask yourself, why do you do this and that? it is again asking yourself for you do not have someone or anyone to share the loads you have at your back. a friend's pat is good, but an embrace of someone you share your life with is a lot better. that is just a perspective of someone who comes in these roads of two worlds. but still friends are worth giving all you have. but that is another issue. for friends come and go. it is again you and yourself.

I am just calling for a peaceful me and myself and surely and hopefully i will be one:) love you myself...

2010-02-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

Alone

Alone in the night so cold
so silent it creates noise
so peaceful yet it troubles
so bring me back to you and life will be true.
i am damn crazy in love with you

Alone... wishing you beside me
Miss the laughter and tears together
so charming... so sweet
my darling... my babe
Dreaming of you is all i can do.

I don't wanna be alone
I don't wanna be sad and lonely
I don't wanna be far away and count each day
I don't wanna be cry for this is not good bye
and i count each day till we will be in our arms again

Alone... missing you entirely
reminiscing.. but always believing
that we will fly high in this blue vast sky
and that we will never be apart
will never be apart

Alone in the night
As the moon provides company
I am waiting... Hoping you will be with me soon:)

--- to someone i left my heart last year")

2010-01-18T09:19:00.001-08:00

Angels cry:) love this:)

Eh.. I shouldn't have walked away
I would have stayed, if you’d said
We could've made everything okay,
but we just
threw the blame back and forth.
We treated love like a sport.
The final blow hit so low I'm still on the ground.
I couldn't prepare myself for this fall.
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor.
Supernatural, love conquers all.
Remember we used to touch the sky?

(Chorus)
And lightning don't strike
the same place twice.
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry.
True love’s a gift.
But we let it drift
in a storm.
Every night,
I feel the angels cry.

Come on babe, can our love be revived?
Bring it back and we gon' make it right.
I'm on the edge just trying to survive,
as the angels cry.

Limitless omnipresent kind of love.
Couldn’t have guessed. It would just stop
and disappear, in a whirlwind
here I am
walking on this narrow rope.
Wobbling but won't let go.
Waiting for a glimpse of the suns glow.

I know I can stand just pull me back up.
There ain’t a hurricane it’s just us.
I'm willing to live and die for our love.
Baby we can get back that shine.

(Repeat Chorus)

baby im missin you
Don't allow our love to lose
We gotta ride it through
i'm reachin for you

(Chorus version 2)
lightning don't strike
the same place twice.
When you and I
Said goodbye
I felt the angels cry.
True love’s a gift
But we let it slip
in the storm.
Every night,
I feel the angels cry.

2009-08-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Dating and maroons....

wow... its been a long time, and i mean the longest time since i did something with my page, my blog- as they say, an update about oneself. at this point in time, i really do not have anything in my mind as to what i will be writing here, but i just read a blog of a person i just added in my FB account and the topic was all about dating, and this led me to put some glitters in this century old page.

dating, courtships, or getting to know you stage--- as a kid, i thought of it as a romantic sweet moment between a male and female in a park, or beach side for that matter. or the moment where my mom and dad visits our ancestral home back in the hillside of Basilan territories. totally very charming and indeed full of love.

growing up, i had that desire of experiencing this so called sweet hi and hello. it came to me many times and truly i can justify to that thought that indeed, it is romantic, it is sweet and it feels great! that thought i had when i was a child widened and gave me a clearer picture of love, lust,joy and pain, maybe because of the maturity that i must have in my nerves. and also maybe because i happen to experience that not so common and accepted date in this part of the world.

but i went on, meeting date 1, to date 2, 3, and counting. some were memorable, some were disgusting yet still meaningful and some were perfectly awesome. eating along the boulevard,meeting the sun rise, sending letters and gifts, texting till the wee hours of the night, eating anything under the warm sun and pale blue majestic moon, sleeping and hugging so tight together (and now it makes me cry remembering those moments) i mean something you wished will comeback or if you are wishing during that very moment, it was a date that you hope will never end.but again and again as i say, life is a forward march, those moments are now images in my mind. images i continuously treasure.. for these images were mine. were me!!!

now, i want to go back to that simplicity of my thoughts about dating. the definition i had when i was a child. simple yet tangible for i am experiencing it not with anyone now, but a date with and for myself. myself, for i need to pick up all the pieces i had lost for the past years i tried to redefine the concept of dating according to what others see and what others want, not according to what i really feel i wanted to see and feel. i am not saying i did not want it, but i just went with the flow for i am there, simply enjoying that very feeling.weird as it may be, i am just me, a fanatic of that true real love. once i feel it, i go with it,. but now i guess i need to feel it, then feel it again and again until i will conclude that i don't have that feeling anymore for i am already in the state of LOVE. i almost was in that state, almost...it was already in my hand, yet things came and surprise me and is still leaving me with mixed emotions, the least thing i would want to do is again, ask if that was just a feeling or was i blinded with that state...

.....everyday, i receive invitations for me to be part of their individual definition of love , i smiled at them.smiling with a thought, that maybe they too have the intentions in defining or redefining the words dating and love. sometimes i pause and try to give them my piece but i continue on my self date.tempting as it may be, i am never and still not in the position to have that date for i know i am still in debt to myself above all. and i can still see that very thin flame in the dark where i left my heart, glowing like the mighty phoenix, not today but maybe tomorrow.

and i will stay with my definition and indeed stay:)

2009-02-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

i miss writing here... i will soon...

mwahugs!!!

2009-01-23T09:22:00.000-08:00

i will be fine soon..
i will spread those wings again...
i will see a new beginning...
i will and surely will worship Him...

and i am fine!
--- thank you friends....

2009-01-11T08:44:00.000-08:00

i am just freaking confused as to what i will do with my crown--- and that is my hair---...some are very happy seeing me with this new hairstyle. yes, easy to manage and not that much expensive, i mean no clay nor paste or whatsoever. but others and i mean close friends are asking me to grow it for i lost my identity as a person and as an artist!!!

these pictures are the newest, in revealing my self. heheh.... before leaving the Christmas season behind. me with Jay Aldecoa- a SSEAYP alumnus and Junjun Villamero- TOSP 2008, went to the famous Absin's Christmas House. this majestic house best exemplifies Christmas and indeed it gave me the feeling of being a child. Love the intricate and the well chosen masterpieces- from the color down to the antique collections... i mean this house is a must to see edifice in this city of dumaguete...

surely, i will look for a time to again have a glimpse to this great house. and hopefully i will be able to do that with my family! God bless and see you next Christmas...

2009-01-08T03:26:00.000-08:00

An article i submitted to the ayala foundation for the 75 new young leaders

My Life Changing Moment

Excitement enveloped my whole being when I received the news that I made it to the final cut of the AYLC 2006. I could not possibly imagine that I made it and I thanked God for the rare opportunity and a blessing to be part of the Ayala Young Leaders Community. Having the chance to work and to meet former student leaders from Silliman University and be a witness as to how the Ayala Young Leaders Congress changed their lives and heed the call for servant leadership. I became so excited to know what made this congress unique and special. Truly, this excitement lingers in me even until today as a teacher and an artist for indeed AYLC is one life changing event that I will forever be grateful of.

The three-day congress is a fully jam packed capsule that really helped me realize things I am capable of and the things I needed to develop and to change as I submit my self to the call of leadership. It was a gathering of different souls yet surprisingly made a great collaboration and indeed a perfect combination. It was as if everybody knew each other for a long time. We shared the same brands of experiences at school and in our respective niche of service; and eventually led us all to the establishment of friendship that we treasure even until today. My Alab 2006 family and my AYLC experience (how I miss them so much!) – the laughter, the tears, the overnight kiligan stories about the cute facilitator and a co-participant, the overflowing ice cream and desserts, the sumptuous food, the freebies, the tour, the extra challenge, the chance in meeting the Ayalas and other prominent personalities in our country, and a lot more – these are just few yet great chances I got to see with in the congress. But what is so important and dear to my heart are the productive things that happened to me and the meaningful changes I did when I got back to Silliman University and to my hometown, Basilan province. It was that point in time were I realized that I needed to do something not just for me to get a standing ovation after a great performance or an award after spearheading an organization or an activity but because I needed to do it for there was the need in doing it.

There was this craving for service. Service without expecting anything in return. Service because you feel good when others are happy, and service because you want to contribute in making this world a better place for everybody even in the simplest way you could, and lastly a realization that with out service, I could not fully appreciate my existence.

Ayala Young Leaders Congress provided us with strong armaments through the different activities with well respected speakers, who are into servant leadership and into the concept of building a better nation. Those speakers handed to us powerful insights which served as an eye opener to what reality holds for the leaders of tomorrow, indeed an awakening moment that there is still hope for this great nation. They gave us a script as to what servant leadership and the responsibility is with in our hands as to how and why it was very fulfilling and necessary for us to put this script into reality.

Ayala Young Leaders Congress opened many doors to me as I realize the many beautiful things that will happen when you share a part of you to others. The beauty of life is actually based on the things you scatter rather than the things you gather as you go on through the complexities of life. And as an Ayala Young Leader I will always have that thinking of becoming a person to others – Yes, this is a statement with a heavy weight when it comes to commitment but then again and again, I for one is a witness to this. I cannot fully appreciate the wonders of life without sharing my gifts, my talents, and my being to others for I believe that is also my way in thanking and glorifying my Creator who shared His life to save the face of the world. Truly it is a celebration having this passion to serve.

Few weeks from now we will embark to the conception of 75 new breed of servant leaders. Surely, this event will be a strong foundation to the new servant leaders as to what they are called for in this world. The 11^th Ayala Young Leaders Congress- one decade and the journey goes on in igniting the flames for change and service. The congress will be a blessing to these new individuals as it was to me and to the entire Ayala Young Leaders Alumni Community.

2009-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome year of the Ox...

Cow people should have a nice Rat year in 2008. Many things end up with their expectation. However, it won't be the same in the year of Cow. Many Unlucky Stars are coming to Cow people and there is no strong Lucky Stars coming to help them. Therefore, the fortune of 2009 is unstable and unpredictable. Troubles and obstacles will appear soon or later and wait for the challenge. Cow people need to pay attention on everything during the entire year of the Cow.

According to Chinese Zodiac, if the zodiac sign of birth year is same to the zodiac sign of yearly cycle, then that's an unlucky year to the person. Many troubles will come to bother the person. The person needs to manage events with caution at work, at home or traveling to avoid argument, lawsuit, accident, libel, blooding and money loss.

Career:

The Unlucky Year Star and Fighting Stars move to your career area in year 2009. People relationship in your business or job circle will be poor. Business development has the difficulty to expand. You will face strong competition with coworkers in the company. Unfortunately, you are the underdog in the competition. You might keep losing your spirit, cannot focus on your task and then impact your job performance. The good news is that a Knowledge Star appears this year. If your job is related to art, writing, publishing, entertainment, creativity, acting or speech, then you have the chance to show your talent to people and open the door for your better job opportunity.

Money:

Cow people's money luck is connected with the career luck in 2009. Since your career performance won't get any good anticipation, therefore to increase a good income becomes remote possible. Plus, an Unlucky Broken Star shows in the money area. That means it's hard for you to pile up wealth into your savings. In short, money comes, then money goes this year. Therefore, you shouldn't do any short term risky investment. Anything related to money, you need to think twice before you leap. If you don't have any financial plan, then it's hard for you to balance your expense and income.

Love:

Because the Knowledge Star comes into your life, it implies the wisdom, talent and
loneliness. If you are married, then you might have more argument with your spouse or children. If you are in love, then you will have less times to meet your lover and the love relationship becomes distant. If you are a senior, then you have to pay attention on the health of your spouse to avoid visiting hospital. If you are single, it's not a good time to pursuit the impossible dream.

Health:

The Unlucky Year Star comes strongly to you in 2009. Many things will disturb Cow people. Worry and anxiety will bring you lots of mental and physical pressure. Therefore, you need
fully pay attention on your health. You have to stay alert for any changes of
your body. Because you might lose your focus, you need to pay attention on the
safety while your are walking and driving on the street to avoid the traffic
accident.

Fortune:

Cow people always have unsatisfied events in every Cow year. The fortune in career, wealth. health, love and family will below expectation in 2009. But you don't have to despair or give up. In your career, you just have to hold on your job position, keep your profile low, work harder for your daily job. You need to follow your financial plan and do not waste unnecessary expense. You need to remember to show the care and love to your family members, spouse or lover. You also have to watch your own health. In this case, you will have a peaceful the year of the Cow.

--- amdist all these it is the great conncetion we have to Our Lord Jesus Christ! Save me oh lord....

2008-12-29T18:13:00.000-08:00

and it is indeed 2009.....

i will update this blog soon...

i don't have the luxury of time...HAppy new year to everyone...

2008-12-01T01:45:00.000-08:00

and the intramural fever is completely over.. super back to relaity and these are the rooms, teaching,students and lessons... definitely not ready for such...
lately i have been so spending much time in making my self so pampered... like food,drinking,and other stuffs making me so relax and making me feel not the old me who is so active and so alive... i'm not saying im dead the past days... but on the other side of this happenings, one thing i will say is I AM HAPPY!!!

---also so nice to have been able to help some out of school youth and tapping their stories on drug addiction and youth negligence.. it was a fulfillment...sharing dancing to them...

---had a blastful meeting with some great souls yesterday before watching the dancesport competition... artists of dumaguete are definitle the best or i may say the greates... you could never ignore the beauty and the dynamic spirit of dessa quesada (ate dessa), the sweet and energetic couple ate sharon and kuya jaruvic, junslee,kuya jojee...the small but terrible pastor ditz... ate jean of UGKAT and me... hahaha imagine that, i am part of this circle...i had a great time eating the very spicy yet delicious noodles of CHARITY- a korean artist. nice meeting you!

---my life will never be complete with out meeting ATe lea janice remata sicat! a true definition of what i call inner and outer beauty! ate maybel... and the two eso peeps.. micah and clyde...

---i miss going to the gym...and i am submitting myself to eating... eating... eating....

---you! summer is still very far! do not think of that! let us just enjoy the breeze and we will prepare ourselves and let us go to coo coo's nest soon... mwah!!!!

love you all.. Happy and blessed christmas to all....

2008-11-12T01:18:00.000-08:00

i really do not know what and where this post will lead me but one thing for sure this post is eventually making me ok and getting rid of the clinical depression i know is coming soon, or i may say it is already there....

it was so fast! it came and eventually it's going to end!???????

that i don't know. super hard! when you are caught up in things with many options. the fears, the tears, the sadness... one thing i definitely ask my self everyday things come my mind is---- WHY ME??????

and i just hope that march will be here so soon as for me to know where i will be after these incidents... but one thing i am sure of totally, i will treasure this. and if God will give me another moment to live i will still prefer having you again (after all the things we had way before this stupid beating came), but correct the things that happened. i am not saying that the things happened and happening are wrong. but a friend, my best friend- marriane told me, that things are not yet ok if it ends in a bad way. so certainly there is still a brighter rainbow after! my pride who is my super bestiest friend is telling me that "sana wala na lang ni nahitabo"...

cry? im done with that
it haunts me--- i run
i run---no where,
and that gun is just the sole reason to end this fun
help me
slap me
or eventually kill me...

i don't want to entertain this
i don't
but it comes
it runs into my nerves

will i entertain others
and that will be an additional burden
hope not!

o.a ang die, but kung di ra jud sala ay wa na gugmang giatay!

LECHE!

2008-11-04T21:04:00.000-08:00

wee.... this is one stressful week for me, for im starting to go back to my routine... school, gym,sleep.... hahay!

things i will be doing for the nest few days...

by importance and urgency

1. i will probably talk to someone and according to his blog it took a year... nyahahaha... oa man gud sya... bitaw.. but defintely happy that person is back, the reason why i was not able to attend my 8-9 class this morning. heheheh.

2.be doing the world bank thing with naddie, for there is this demanding blablabla...

3. just met with ate lea for the tourism project and so as we will be doing this over dumaguete's fiesta... we will be spending our days in amlan and tanjay.hopefully it will be great! i know it will..

4. me and naddie are going to surigao this friday via cebu, for we were invited to help promote Silliman University to high school students in Surigao... it will be one hell of a trip knowing how clumsy my partner is... nyahahaha.

5. neeed to come up with my syllabus and my lesson preparations for my class... hopefully the nerve of teaching will soon come and run into my bloodstreams again!asap... hahay! so wasting a lot of time... but still its fine im pampering my ass too much! wake up!

6. will i enroll or not!? if i wont, i won't be able to play volleyball during the intrams , and it is a dream talaga honest! and also could not send my songs for the VSC next year... i also don't want to enroll for it will just be an additional INC in my belt...

7. and i already mentioned my INC, definetely i need to complete it with in the semester for me not to have a dirt in my transcript of records... nan! kay nganu ni enter...

8. need to save money for the xmas holidays...many people are asking for gifts and i already gave them myself and for some even my body!(gong, i know mucomment ka ani)lol!!!!!

9. need to prepare some good food and dishes for christmas...and i will experiment and play with the kitchen just to make mama smile...

10. need to maintain the happinness i have right now... and hopefully go on with my sanity and those are, checking my mails, friendster, updating blogs, texting 24/7 and eating less, working out more... need to have my ideal waistline... jung kamatay aning diet diet..

also need to go to cebu asap... need to fix things with the tosp preparations and need to inhale the TOSPIAN air,.... also meet my brother and the bums... VERNA and mich! super thanks ha...

love you all... those who visit and those who don't... ok thanks...

2008-10-30T08:31:00.000-07:00

My new song...

i did this when i was in my third week of insanity. Late afternoon when dumaguete was preparing herself for the buglasan and thye unigames...i did this at chantily with thier delicious burger and coffee.. the first time i enjoyed cape... wah!!
with tears hahay... here it goes...

(no title yet)

As i close my eyes
I see the remnants of the past
pain leading to insane
could not sleep but i just want to weep
for you are the only love of my life, oh baby you're so deep

* stop cursing baby coz i'm missing you badly
totally in pain, insane
help me and please explain

Chorus:
the day you said good bye
i asked myself why
i want you to stay
for we have a lot to say
and i pray pray pray
you'll be back like what we have yesterday
for you're the only one i know who is true making my life beautiful as blue..
you you you... lalalalal
we both must say i love you

and when we satyed together
gently caresing one another
super i felt the love so real forever
but i don't know what to do
why you suddenly flew and made me fell the bad fool untrue

Baby could not sleep
and the bottle of Vodkha here comes to rescue me
Mariah's song becomes the lullaby of your supposedly role
of whatever we had and i'm sad
please be back coz i don't want to have an attack

Superman could not bring what we both had
Superman could not bring what we both had
superman could not bring what we both had

Bridge:
Don't close the door
for we know that there is love we bothe are fighthing for
Baby baby come back to me
let's sway and dance the night away and make this day a moment to stay!

--------
Thanks Naddie for helping me out with some of the tunes... wee...
this song helped and is helping me to recover and get back and stand up all over agin!
thanks and the cafe is closing already!sorry for the wrong spellings!

mwah!

2008-10-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

tears
chantilly, 5:00 Pm

(with burger and two cups of coffee)

the stains of purity
were abandoned
trying to wander
trying to ask
tying to beg
why it is not yet over

fin?
i don't think so
the mask
the facade
the fake smiles
hiding inside

the cloth
that covers the wrath
the worms eating my nights
solitude and despair
bring me and come do the repair

and as these raindrops
from my vision roam the earth
i too submit to lowness
but still my pride wins over the sadness that haunts me day and night
please let this end
for i don't want to submit myself to death

stains proving the purity now...
dirty yet the whiteness prevails
hope
i believe so
sigh!
and tears made me ok!

---to you who changed all stories just to accommodate your self hurting and stupidity.

2008-10-25T02:20:00.001-07:00

"I Stay In Love"

Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know

[Chorus x2]

I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.

---i was just hit by this... and i am crying in the cafe.. sheT!!!help me please...

2008-10-22T10:24:00.000-07:00

portals

October 22, 2008
4:47 AM

It was a long stretch of portals
well lit
well erected

it was a strange search
sacrifice---
was about to come
until you stood tall
amidst the portal

it changed

come
wrapped me with those extensions
my longings and despairs

until the smile of Luna
half-baked yet full
became the only sight of meeting faces
meeting ends
trapped with the darkness
viewed and glanced by the elusive jewels
slowly caressed and well coated by the sand
as i rubbed d entrance of his portals
indeed tall and erected
psssssst

we ran heading to that den
still coated with sand
not minding the audience

finally a splash came over me

exhausted yet fulfilled

Don't go

stay for i need d answer
of that puzzle
will cupid hit me?
hopefully yes
Portals enter and i submit myself to saunter
yet leading to my long deserved slumber
No
i need to have him...
oops no forever but still will i remember
the Luna
the sand
the jewels
and so i wish portal come enter...

2008-10-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

wee...the last time i wrote my blog entry was august and now november is coming too soon and mind you also the yuletide festivities...an excuse will do good i guess but all i want to say is maybe minding not the problem...or there are these problems but the hell we care... heheh

One thing that made me shocked and even until now i am still in a limbo for the fact that i modeled and do my runway stint when i had the chance to work with a local yet international taste designer during the opening of the Buglasan festival... it was something new to me and jee i love it! hahaha

new things come my way and grabbing them is great. now im disturbed by the fact that i did not do any of my masteral requirement and another incomplete feather to my hat i guess... the hell i care... need to submit grades, just submitted my BIR form and hopefully tomorrow the grades or even partial of it!!!

the call to get wet under the rain is haunting me.. remeber the days when we held on in the rain... lalalalal... hahay.... regrets are there but wala na tay mahimu... hahahy!!

I THANKS nADI FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE.. to the extent that some people think we are lovers.. we laugh at it for we know deep with in us that we are just two crazy creatures enjoying the world of Friendship.. and with this chemistry some people try to get rid the so called thing me and andi have... try to destroy it for their own advantages... hahay!

thanks ning!!!

2008-08-18T00:35:00.000-07:00

August 18, 2008
3:35

A perfect weekend...

It was a fulfilling Saturday and Sunday...Tiring yet fully satisfied... as what the seminarian said in his message... and i quote, "lovingly struggling". I too felt this with all the good things that happened to me last weekend (Aug.16 and 17) and even until now...and i know in the days to come..

Saturday- I spent the entire dawn with some new friends with a bottle of Gilbeys mixed with C2 ice tea drink and indeed, it was a night of realization that it is a small world after all ( the famous Disney Parade song when i was in Disney TOkyo last 2004).. we are all connected... and with this, i can say i was drunk. Around 6 in the morning i need to be at Quezon Park to start doing the Amazing Race stations for the leadership training for the SK Chairmen of Negors Oriental--- and i was drunk... hehehehe...

During the entire course of the race, i realized how blessed i am to have been given the chance and opportunity to impart something to these young shakers of the land. It was fulfilling and it was also an eye opener knowing that most or i mean all of these SK chairmen who are considered as the leaders of the grassroots do not deserve to be there in that position and have the word honorable before their given names. most of them can not even communicate and were just forced by parents and peers to run for the said position and they ended up lost in that quest for change. sad but true.. it was something that struck my being as an ambitious young man who still has this hope for our dear old Filipinas...

After this event, we gave some reward to ourselves, me with ate lea, jana and jay aldecoa.Submitted ourselves to the movie- a very special love. and it was a movie that brought me in to tears and hope. another 360 degrees turn of a hopeful romantic that i know will come my way in due time- boy or girl- it does not matter at all as long as i love that soul.
And i met the night with great anticipation to have that long overdue rest; i know i truly deserve.

Sunday- Morning, was the continuation of the leadership training and it was where we had our processing stage of the things we did last saturday. again a moment of greatness and a moment of happiness. having this sense of grattitude that i have some power to change the face of this world. i do not dream to be Oprah or Barrack Obama to start something great--- but i am Claudio Ramos, having this special and unique mission, and i guess i am starting to find and to fulfill it.

Next, believe it or not, i watched the movie a very special love again, with Naddie. hehehe you call it fanatic not to the stars or the celebrities, maybe it was also the reason but i was more particular with the magic of LOVE. this movie as i said, brings back the so- called love feeling that i thought will be elusive to my being...the hope is there and the search goes on..

then we rushed ourselves to hear the Gospel and the testimony of this graduating seminarian. it may be weird but it did pass by my mind-- and that is to join the seminary. whooaaah...we will see...

and last, the night became so elegant with the Ballet Manila performance with Prima Ballerina- Liza Macuja Elisalde.the grandeur of showcasing two masterpieces- Sonata and Pinocchio was astonishing and even until now the images of the under water scene of pinocchio and the bed scene of Sonata are still fresh and alive. The hope of being a stage performer will and is always in my heart. i may be silent today but i know there and it will come... my time when the world will smile at me as i kiss the stage of greatness--- with or with out those curtains and lights..

HOPE is what i call the support system of ambition...

2008-08-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

01:47 Am
August 09,2008

while listening to mariah carey's version of somewhere over the rainbow as a tribute performance to the greatest patti labelle, i can't stop myself and think of the word respect... do we have that? hmmm....
i grew up with the word respect and also loving the song respect popularized by no less than the soul diva herself- Aretha Franklin.I am just so thankful that my parents raised me well, and so i am guided by this principle of love and respect. respecting myself and the people around me. i maybe harsh sometimes but it is because of people around me that trigger me to do all these...

A call to move on is posted in my real concept of what i called my sanctuary. It is very hard.. very hard in a sense that people, i already consider my past are still there, not that i am bothered with their presence, for the hell i care about them...it is just few or some of them think that it is a lost in my part of not having them in my circle. hmmp! but again i will go back to what i said earlier--- RESPECT.

I captured and hid those shoes because i respected and still respecting the ideology of passion and interest specially to those neophyte dreamers. i submitted myself to total darkness, even for a fact and surely i know, it will be a daunting task to fight and survive in this dark world. i jumped into this deep waters even for a fact i know i am drowning. i started wrapping all those memories and strands of happiness and sadness, eventually putting them to my imaginary casket and just open it if there is a need to do one... All in the glory of RESPECT. I respect the so called FRIENDSHIP.

But with all these submissions and these earth like structure of being grounded, i am caught in the middle of other things which i consider more important. Why will i continue paying attention to the cries of these wolves. their echoing sounds roamed my mind--- but i believed and agreed as to what my friend said "just leave them, and do your thing". but one thing my friend does not know is that im over him/her/them. It is just not a Claudio characteristic of a total moving on.. i always have these trademarks of doing some things, both positive and negative,( hahaha most of the time negative and so beware.)But with these bunch of wolves i will again submit myself to a total moving on because i still have that RESPECT. and hopefully it will remain in my heart because, other people think that i have too much of this respect. i just don't want that i will loose this and eventually do my turn of what i term as a sweet revenge... hahaha(witch laugh)

But again, calm down calm down... all these are plain words..(hopefully) another contradiction. hahaha... well this is a summary of what i know and what i inculcated in my self for the past 23 years. RESPECt. i know that this blog is so late for my 23rd birthday last july 21, 2008. It was overwhelming and so memorable for three reasons.
1. i celebrated my birthday with friends and i mean those special friends and people close to my heart at Forest camp Valencia. my mom and my brother came over and it was just so fitting in a sense that i can feel that there is some geographical changes that i will experience in the next months (hopefully, i lift all these things to HIM). Suzabel- a longtime friend. Alfie- a brother to me, guz-my british friend, Naddie- my angel. and also it became so meaningful when the bongcasan family came and attended my bday.
2.It was around 3:20 in the afternoon at the college of Arts and Sciences Building Room 312, while i was giving a lecture about the areas of communication, a bunch of students and friends, entered the classroom with a cake and a wine.It brought me to tears of joy and happinness. and so we ate the cake, and yes it was so fulfilling and i really can't explain the things i felt during those time.
3. I have my boardmates whom i took for granted for the past years, but hey they are the craziest and the loudest but still with genuine heart people i know... Peers who are willing to help, when a shaky life scenario will come your way. We were all drunk and we walked heading to Kyosko, after eating we headed back to our boarding house, by creating loud noise, and i mean LOUD. And also i will never forget when we did some rearrangements of the parking posts in the street. It was a chaotic yet fun filled night.

These things made a mark in my life and i will continue to cherish with gladness and respect.. for i know these will have its another touch sooner or later but with a different color yest the same strand or the same texture..

And as i say good bye... Thanks for all those who are helping and making the world a better place to live in.. God bless...

2008-06-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

PRIDE
June 22,2008
01:55

Gently the whisper of the rushing wind touches my soul... sweet yet full of substance...this whisper signals me to submit myself to what i know i have and i will have in my existence--- my Pride... i am just wandering how far will this lead me... for many who will read this specially those people who know me --- and i mean who really are-- Claudio is the synonym of Pride---yes... I mean, common, pride-- and immediately you will incur the entirely negative note of what i believe is my weapon, the tool that keeps my head going and my heart to atleast stand up even though it still carries the bruises and the on-the-process healing.. Go healing, go on... mama will eventually bring some medicines.... and it will come...
The wind roared like the lion in the jungle as it contradicts a lost bee playing the flourescent bulb just above me, i looked up, and another sound got my attention that eventualy led me to notice a neophyte member of this house in his room...... and i am trying to think how much money my boardmates spent evrytime they play dota... as if i am the one giving them the money, but yes, i guess the fun is worth the single peso they pay...same with what i said is my weapon.. this is what i know and still believeing, caused me into trouble all the time.. but hey, i am not saying i am also the synonym of war.. that is too much.it is just for the past days i tried to weigh and to see things in all angles... i mean, i have gained much experience and much maturity from all that happened... but the memories still lingers.. i dont care of how many people i lost along the way... they taught me great lessons... lessons and gave me strong warnings and even phobias of giving my finger and this finger there is the extra incentive of giving my entire being... i just trust people in just a split second...
But a great friend once told me that in life we need to hold on... people come and go.. there are people who are just limited to your past and their role ends there.. and never they will be part of your journey for tomorrow.. that is i guess... same with me in their life stories.. i am trying to find ways and means.. but i turn around and see few of the best.. few of the well raped by the times of life... weathers shapes the mountains, experiences shape the human persona...
now, as i write this, i am just so happy of doing a teambuilding to SUCNA officers and was lucky enough to grace and to get a lot of new insights from Dr. Sinda- gee... she was fantastic... one great leader and a person...
anyways the teambuilding was stressful, but again the my heart is richer than what i ever imagined... had the chance to chat with a friend who is now in china...and the excitement of clinching myself to whatever scholarship and opportunities abroad... hopefully i will be able to do that soon... but as of now, i am determined to fix myself.. and hopefully at the end of the road i will be able to take on the right turn to my very complicated route... and my pride, again and again is the fuel that makes me going...

and i will submit myself to slumber... hoping for a great day tomorrow...

need to wash my clothes... got no labandera pa! hahahah

2008-06-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

June 22,2008--- 1:07 AM
Gently the whisper of the rushing wind touches my soul... sweet yet full of substance...this whisper signals me to submit myself to what i know i have and i will have in my existence--- my Pride... i am just wandering how far will this lead me... for many who will read this specially those people who know me --- and i mean who really are-- Claudio is the synonym of Pride---yes... I mean, common, pride-- and immediately you will incur the entirely negative note of what i believe is my weapon, the tool that keeps my head going and my heart to atleast stand up even though it still carries the bruises and the on-the-process healing.. Go healing, go on... mama will eventually bring some medicines.... and it will come...
The wind roared like the lion in the jungle as it contradicts a lost bee playing the flourescent bulb just above me, i looked up, and another sound got my attention that eventualy led me to notice a neophyte member of this house in his room...... and i am trying to think how much money my boardmates spent evrytime they play dota... as if i am the one giving them the money, but yes, i guess the fun is worth the single peso they pay...same with what i said is my weapon.. this is what i know and still believeing, caused me into trouble all the time.. but hey, i am not saying i am also the synonym of war.. that is too much.it is just for the past days i tried to weigh and to see things in all angles... i mean, i have gained much experience and much maturity from all that happened... but the memories still lingers.. i dont care of how many people i lost along the way... they taught me great lessons... lessons and gave me strong warnings and even phobias of giving my finger and this finger there is the extra incentive of giving my entire being... i just trust people in just a split second...
But a great friend once told me that in life we need to hold on... people come and go.. there are people who are just limited to your past and their role ends there.. and never they will be part of your journey for tomorrow.. that is i guess... same with me in their life stories.. i am trying to find ways and means.. but i turn around and see few of the best.. few of the well raped by the times of life... weathers shapes the mountains, experiences shape the human persona...
now, as i write this, i am just so happy of doing a teambuilding to SUCNA officers and was lucky enough to grace and to get a lot of new insights from Dr. Sinda- gee... she was fantastic... one great leader and a person... anyways the teambuilding was stressful, but again the my heart is richer than what i ever imagined... had the chance to chat with a friend who is now in china...and the excitement of clinching myself to whatever scholarship and opportunities abroad... hopefully i will be able to do that soon... but as of now, i am determined to fix myself.. and hopefully at the end of the road i will be able to take on the right turn to my very complicated route... and my pride, again and again is the fuel that makes me going...
and i will submit myself to slumber... hoping for a great day tomorrow...
need to wash my clothes... got no labandera! hahahah

2008-05-31T05:50:00.000-07:00

LET's END THIS...

these were the words of departure i got from somebody special. Special person but never saw that importance and just looked on my struggles to the MT. Everest like expectations that that person set from the very start of the journey...

I just said yes... ok...

and that person waited for me to say no, and surprisingly i did not cry... why should i... i did not see the point of saying good bye.. i thought it went well, i thought everybody's happy, i thought everybody's contented... but i was completely wrong... i guess i Failed but still i am not a loser...

one thing i know, i was true and i was sure of what i felt and what i knew from the very start i texted, exchanged thoughts, information, pleasure, tears, oils, and sweat, of even sacrificing things just to see, and be a good partner... but i was not...

Bottom line--- i learned a lot....
im just so thankful i met you my siomai...you showed me the respect of what Love can do and can be.. you showed me the other and the same me when i fall in love, and you helped me and supported me from all my flaws that i did not get from my past, that still haunts my darkness and with that, all praises and thanks... still i did not entertain the feeling of bidding bye bye, to the extend of neglecting these circumstances but it comes, it attacked my conscience' and left unprepared... i know i will be able to smile again...

That is for sure... for life is like that, as i am in my quest of finding the real essence of who i really am, let me enjoy the beauty of sharing and loving the world.. as what i said to ate lea... which is very hard to inject into my self but i will try...and i quote, " do not worry of not having that one person that you love for many are blessed with your presence and many people are happy for they see your greatness..."

I will try to let those words run into my life as classes this June starts, let me thank God for the chance of having this nation building concept and for touching millions of lives...

and i will leave you with this poem...

candle
12:24 AM, May 31, 2008

only the streams of the candle
can witness my solitude
the darkness that hides the rain
masking my vast being

will they catch me
will they care

that i don not know

as the candle
drowns herself
i too,
succumb myself into
nightmare and despair

go on.......

2008-05-12T03:00:00.000-07:00

i may be out and quiet for a very long time.. i may be silent still wild... just looked and stopped to look for some air and some time to see a better side of life...

Goodbye
written: April 04, 2008
Dumaguete Boulevard

From the very Beginning
I know it will be this way
and i am afraid to stay
But you showed me a different path
You hold and bring back the light
I know its hard but I will give it a try
Even know it means i will cry

Chorus:
You and I will fly
the moment i will say Good bye
Dont you worry for we need to burn and bury
All the memory shared
Even though we know we care
But we need to be apart
Let's mend our broken heart and
love will show the way

Now, i'm healed but the scar remains
and i'm mending the pain
I looked for the answers
Search here and everywhere
yet i am lost without you
But help me I'm feeling blue for this is all true

(repeat Chorus)

Bridge:

I love you but I don't know what to do
Whenever your in my eyes
all i do is disguise
'Coz you make me feel brand new
And i turn blue
But i want to say is I love you
and i hope you feel the same way too..

(repeat Chorus)

So nice to have all these experiences.. and i am one of those many who hates good bye but with the many tears and bye bye, i was able to find the meaning of Godd bye, for it is an opening of something new....
and hope you will all find the new things something higher and greater than before...

2008-01-04T08:56:00.000-08:00

Happy new year!!!

Its been so long... i left this blog empty and void... wahhh!

i do not know, but my busy schedule really ate up all my time... busy with school, with work, with friends, with dancing, with the stage and with my personal life

2007 was a great year for me and i definitely thanked the Lord for all the blessings HE gave me and my family.. it was a year full of surprises and a year of a lot of things that made me stronger, and happier...

Im hoping for the best this year- in my career and in my health as well...

wah want to write more but im already sleepy... then tomorrow i will start my journey back to Dumaguete. while writing this im alone in the sala, and im kind a tired with all the days ukay ukay activities, cooking and all..

till next time friends/...

happy new year again...

love you all..

to GOD be the Glory!

2007-10-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

this page will not be enough i guess, of how thankful i am that God bestowed me with a great Journey --- my life....

i do not know why am i saying this...but its like, i am writing this blog with mix emotions, anger and doubts but amidst all these doubts,im am most grateful and must be satisfied. hay hope this blog will lead to somewhere...

yes --- im single again, officially, again free to spread my wings and to roam the vast world with no attachment. maybe its just pride, why i am telling this, but hey im a human, and i mean that i was hurt,with what happened, but so proud that after a day of realization im finally back in my track and more than willing to fight more and more specially that i found my new sets of weapons and armaments.---- my friends....my students....my parents....my family....my brothers and sisters.... and my creator.

yes, the person who betrayed me is my dear old friend,way back college life. a mentor, a person i respected and admired and a person who i cared most in a small circle of indifferent species ---yes the snake, i call him now. but anyways im happy with whatever outcome and the things i just did to them. you call it boxing tournament.... so proud, i was able to do it already. Nosebleed and akong friends pagkabalo nilang nakasumbag kog tawo.... it will happen. Karma is always there to hit them and lead them to Burma... rhyming kaayo-...

but all these things are just flickers of dust, compared to all the things i have gained through all these....

1. my friends - i mean the real friends who i thought were not real, and were not there in times when i needed them. friends that listened, friends that showed care and support, and friends that laughed and cried with me. its amazing how God moves- mysterious, powerful ways... yet we always take Him for granted. forgive me thy Lord.

Friends------need not to mention you guys but as in SUPER thank you

2. my students - i mean, i lots a friend but God sent me to the teaching world, for me to start many seeds of friendship, that i am starting to nourish and to look at now. students, who were afraid of me during the first day of class; now im afraid of loosing them for the semester is already on its last page. Hahay!~ Students who text me and send me warm hearted quotes... saying that we will miss you sir and the great bonding we shared.... admitting that they are unique and that their classmates were hard headed... hehehe reminds me of my old days in the great silliman skies. well...one thing is for sure... god designed this road for us to meet and for sure he has a better reason for us to keep and continue whatever road he started for us...

i am missing you guys already... i just love all of you... and i will say that teaching is the only reason why i keep my feet set in this great city.

im just a text away if you need me....

3. my creator - God thanks for the gift of life and the gift of touching others. i always be your son who dreams of making a difference in this world. and of being a full pledged servant. Lord, continue granting me the happiness and also the different challenges you have for me... and use me mold me to whatever you want me to be....

Lord forgive them, forgive me.... and God the father I praise and thank you for all the wonderful things i have and for letting me see great things in the most painful and down moment of my life...

Thanks for the promise and assurance that you gave....

love you lord..

nissan car... the students who keeps reminding me of this... kaw good...
emotional ka!

hehehe

now its time for me to see my dreams... the seedlings of reality...

mwah

Room
Sunday, 1:45AM
Happy for i just reconciled with a friend....

love you guys

2007-09-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

its been so long, since i last posted a simple reflection of my chaotic, but still i may say a life of purpose and goal....

this is just an outburst for i just experienced a totally destructive and self realization event in my life. trying to ask, whats wrong? why me? is there no end with all these things happening to me? or its just that i am not blessed with this thing we called love....???

but certainly i am ok... its just, i cant find the real reason of whatever happened.

maybe i am too much... i ignored that person, i just took that person for granted, thinking that that person loved me so much. trying not to show my real feelings toward that person... so i just let things happened...

buts when the time comes, of you feeling that you are starting to loose, someone, then there you realize that that person is important, that that person is already part of your existence, that you will cry the moment the person will say goodbye....

what are the good things in a goodbye? i don not know....

please let me know...

i cried,the whole nyt yesterday, till this afternoon, skipped my breakfast, as i normally do, but to the extend of dinner and lunch... trying to evaluate where and when i committed somethings that are not pleasing in the eyes of that person... for that person to say ok... off muna tayo.....

this is so tragic... but still i will try to be ok.... i will try to pretend everything is ok... pretentions... full of fakeness and lies... cant live in that position, as i continue to making my dreams fly and soar high....

hope i will be ok...

God help me...

i can still remember parang kahapon lang, that i was really happy, that i have someone... now i am completely loosing that someone... without a concrete reason...

hope as i move on... i could get these reasons clear...

love you my friends...

for with out my friends i will die...

Lyde thanks for the sweet understanding... indeed we end up messed up and trashed down, same topic and same seasons or months...

genrey.... hope we can share mre and God forbid my instincts will be true....

Franciz.... your such a beautiful creature god sent to me... i will be ok... and i dont know if you will be able to read this but one thing for sure i am so happy and touched with your sincerity and with your concern....love you ghurl...

2007-08-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

WI Max
11:09
August 20, 2007

the night is full of mystery as i prepare myself for another battle - that is to face all my notes and my books for i will be delivering my report tomorrow around 4 in the afternoon... hopefully i will be able to make it. God is and will always be good to us... eventhough we turn out to be the worst and the spoiled human species in this land... i can say i am the best example of this, but certainly i would like to thank Him for all the blessings... hopefully i am in the right tracK and i am with good and the right friends in backing me up in all of my encounters with life... God bless to all of you guys...

i just drop by to say that life is so nice.... there is the sweetness to it and there will be the stage where we can say that the world is against us... maybe i am in the stage of sweetness... and hopefully i will be there forever but that won't happen for sure... continuously we will be experiencing the roller coaster ride of this journey.... God bless to me....

still need to entertain all my notes and all the things need to finish before the sun will smile tomorrow...
good nyt!!!!

2007-08-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

SU Library.....
Waiting for my 3:00 PM class.....

Lately, all things are going my way, i guess.... but there are always these things that either makes you happy or makes your nerves freak out!
problems are always there but the hell i care! manigas yang mga problem na yan... i still have a lot of books to read for my masteral class.... i have a report due this Tuesday.... i still did not start computing the grades of my spoiled students and i haven't had the chance to fix and to clean my room.... hehehe

i noticed i am so "lingas" lately... spending a lot of time to other things but i am not regretting those time spent for they made me happy and alive... hehhehehe

i really do not know where this blog is heading but i'm definitely sure that i need to greet and to wish a friend, BEa, who is celebrating her birthday today.... hehehehe

When i asked God for a relationship last summer and before i graduated, i kept on waiting and yes......he answered my prayers but instead of giving me one... he placed me in different roads of happiness and cloud 9 effect....though i am not complaining, its just that the different situations are somewhat difficult to understand and to analyze..... but yes!!!! that is why i am just smiling at all these things and as much as possible not worrying about all these things.... but the moment i am all alone in the room before i close my eyes to meet my angels in my slumber, things in different packages and colours cloud my mind leading me to nowhere....

all i wanna do and feel now is to bring me back to that feeling of love! maybe i was traumatized or got hurt so much... but one thing for sure i am in love with this unique soul right now... but still cant do my moves for its not right but its ok! heheheh

all i wanna do and feel is to find my way back into LOVE!!!!!

hope i made sense!

2007-07-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

silliman university library....
july 25, 2007

i hate yesterday, for it was a long bad day....
i hate myself for not complying things at the ryt time and place...
i hate myself for i don't know how and when to say NO....
i hate myself for i try to please other people even if i don't want to please them.........
i hate one of my teachers...
i hate my labandera who sends and picks my clothes not in the secheduled time...
i hate my room for we are congested and it is so hot...
and with that they keep on playing all these PC ames until dawn..........
i hate some of the boardmates i have or most of them for they just make some noise without considering that there are people who are tired and stressed out...Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
i hate stress, but i am always in this mode...
i hate the fact the i am always in trouble with other people....si9mple exchange of thoughts and principles and discussions with anyone might lead to some trouble...
i hate seeing someone for she destroys my day and eventually makes my mood bad...
incase, i hate it coz i will be missing a lot of things this saturday if ever we will push through with our Siquijor performance...

i hate the fact that my crush doesnt find me ok... huhuhuhu

i hate it coz, i miss the chit chat and talks with razcel and lyde...
i hate it coz i miss writing poems and stories....
i hate it for many people are shocked with the change and with the move to become happy....
i hate it for why is there a need for me to experience all this things....
i hate it because i just hate the idea of something that finds me difficult to write it here....

i hate it coz i miss my home, my mom, my siblings.... i hate it coz i dont know if i am making the ryt choice in my life and i hate it for i am into different options and i am having hard time choosin the riht one... or in those choices the riht one is missing....

God help me..... mwahhhh!!!

this is just a simple picture of how troubled i am these days....
you may see the biggest smile when you see me around,,,, but its only my teddy bear and my pillows who serve as the testimonies to the pain and hurt i am experiencing now...

i hate it for why is there a need to say these things....

maybe it just satisfies me............. wah!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

Because of the adjusting process i am into even until now, i was not able to check and to update my blog and the events that happened to me for the past weeks... yes! i was raped by the situation and the different facets of being a teacher, student, dancer, dreamer, director, and a lover...(i guess)

- for the past weeks, i felt the shame of still asking my parents specially my mom, for financial support. it gives me the guilty feeling and as i have said the shame, buit i do not have any options... for me to live and to survive i need to swallow my pride in this matter. But fortunately after a month of teaching, i will be receiving my first honorarium. which is on the other hand, enough to pay my rentals, food, and some paper documents that i need. Help me!!!!

- for the past weeks, i conditioned my mind the need for me to change.Change for my bettermnent! Change in the way i look, the way i act, the way i carry myself, and totally the way i envision myself 3 to 5 years from now. I am part of the Academe and much more of the Silliman's credible roster of educators. i need to develop a new lifestyle, to adhere to the different demands of the profession and my other responsibilities and duties. It is hard but so far i am changing and i am trying my best to be worth it of the said titles i have in my belt.

- for the past weeks, i was able to strenghten the good communication with my siblings and my family. the comfort and support we share in the diferent points of our individual lives. the love and the open communication give us the better understanding and the promise that we will stand together till the end of time.

- for the past weeks, i met new friends, established new bonds and new circles of great and crazy species. Some remained, developing a higher level of the so called friendship. Some had little misunderstandings and hatred.... yes, i miss some of those old friends who are now more or less acquaintances or strangers, but as what my friend said while giving a negative feedback about me. "Claudio is the type of person that finds difficulty in tying loose ends". and i agree with him while he described me with those words. i guess there are just very few of those good things that we need to end. I learned a lot form those incidents and indeed, giving me some lessons, amidst the pain; smiles amidst the tears;promises amidst the said and the unsaid words; and lastly violations among the cautions and warnings. Miss you all....

- for the past weeks, i am enjoying the texting relationship with someone, who is now in manila. I met him here in dumaguete. we text everyday, 24 / 7. i met him sunday night,while studying at a snack shop, then by tuesday he left and went back to manila. with that meeting we are trying our best to work things and in the situation that we are in right now. i really do not believe in such relationship(long disatance) but im starting to believe it and hopefully it will blossom into something only our hearts can explain.

- for the past weeks, i found another person that gives a deeper meaning to waht i will term my identity - my preference. most likely i underwent the same process before but i guess, i alike HER! for my friends for sure, you will freak out the moment you read this. but hopefully you will understand... lyde i hope you understand.... mwah@!@!@

- for the past weeks, i am trying to look for more and deeper reasons of staying here in dumaguete. it is not that i am not enjoying my teaching stint here. actually i feel so blessed and honoured being part of the Silliman's faculty team, but it is just that i am trying to ask my self the concepts of contentment and happiness. i am happy but not contented! and i think it happens to us, we never feel contented with all the things that we have. also, im trying to know, if this is really what i want to do. im trying my best to fall in love with the MA i am taking now. its just that i am not into it i guess. Thanks to Maam Gina, she is one great and eefective teacher that helps me in tying my passion to what i am studying now.

- for the past weeks, i missed writing poems, having a long chitchat with ratzel and lyde, going to beaches and rivers, and all other crazy things.

-for the past weeks i immersed my self to the internet. watching mariah carey, whitney houstons, etc videos. and alos checking my mails, friendsters and other wild, and crazy things. aside from the required assignments and related readings that i need to get from the internet.

i still have a lot to say and to add here, but my time is over and i ned to go...

i miss my smart textmates. dont you worry most likely i will be back toimorrow and i will be back with great enthusiasm and joy for i miss you a lot!!!! Nyko, mky, king and my sister!!!!

wah!!!!

thanks for the friendships guys... i love you all!

2007-06-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

hello!

after a long silence due to the political disturbances back in my very majestic province of basilan, i am no alive and kicking to be here again in the City of Gentle people, with a lot of enthusiasm and excitement....

next week will be a great week for i will be starting my teaching profession, that is if i will pass the teaching demonstration and the interview that Silliman wants me to have... which i only knew this morning... so sad....but well i guess i should pass all these things... anyways.... i must do good or else i will be jobless and will be part of the bum people in the philippines... God forbid!!! anyways....

I know God has good plans for me...

and yes i am back here,, and ang daming chismaxxxx hehehe!!!!

write soon....

2007-05-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

a poem written by my friend...

Midnight thoughts
myk credo
12 AM, May 07, 2007

Tossing and turning
i shape thoughts of you
i visualize the possibilities
of distant souls intertwined
of spirits calm and peaceful amidst chaos
of hearts beating in new rhythms
despite rough waves in between

summer nights never felt so cold
intil the feel of u ran thru my fingertips
and i could amost hear your voice calling
it gets colder by the minute
when utter silence descends
and when all thoughts remains is of you

gliding in pirouettes
in a dance
casting a spell on me

2007-04-21T00:18:00.000-07:00

this poem is dedicated to a friend... who went on a vacation for one sem, and she is making her comeback this June... she is no other than Klen klen Virgo pataksil...

i had a nice time talking to this ghurl and wow nagkagulo at nagkalat kami sa Boston market with another chavacano kabsi--- allan!

to my critics... back to rhyming napud ko!

Poisonous Virgo

beauty....
bubbly.....
and funny
that is my collection
a treasure huge as a nation

a barbie
a candy
a sweetie
with a touch like the deer named bambie

full of substance
as she always sway
and make me dance

thank god
psshht! she is not that bad

people see her strange
but i tell you
she is one great concept of rage

people see her like a bitch
but mind you
its better than being a witch

people see her differently
but the hell i care
for she i one precious jewelry

this is my stone...
my friend...
a piece of happiness
a piece of greatness
Thanking God for a soul
that reminds me how deep his love can roll
his love in me
will always set me free, for such great creature
i will forever be thankful

klen klen, always remind me of how life is... yup, i know she has her own stupid acts... but well we love our friends no matter what and who they are!!!!

kleng! you made my day!

2007-04-01T04:32:00.000-07:00

basilan on the go!!!!

whoa... i am back here at last... my hometown for a short vacation. yes i will be back to dumaguet for an outreach event in bicol ryt after the holy week. wel i am enjoying the company of my crazy siblings.. the long debates with my lolo and lola, the chika fever with my mom, and the straight forward (hahaha bet yah straight?) conversations with my dad. hahahah

well i havent seen my highschool friends and that will be another story...

but well the news about my grand graduation from a very prestigious university is becoming a hit, topping it in the charts! most of the peopl claims that they studied in Silliman, that their relatives grdauted there and bla bla blabla.... heheheh, that only shows how great the school is.. bt the thing is, my father is very proud of it! whoa...

anyways just dropping by, with this very hot internet cafe, with only one ceiling fan... wha! Basilan move on.... so much for that hope evrybody is haing the best of summer but before jumping out with your bikinis and shorts... please be guided with the events and activities for the holy week... specially or us Christians...

that is all.. i am longing for a new feeling... cant wait to get my pen and write another poem....

i hate with the politics here... grabe,.....

kadaghang topic oi!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-24T04:21:00.000-07:00

wow
a day before the formal rites of the 94th Commencement exercises, silliman university, where in i am marching together with other 800 souls and dreamers, that will later be the leaders of this country. it is just so ironic, because i don't feel like attending the ceremony, honest! even it is an honor to be leading the graduates as an honor student, aside from the fact that me and my mom are having a little of these cat fights because of some preprations for these once in a lifetym event. wah...
i think it is the fact that the concept of being an honor student and a graduate still di not sink in my mind, and i am still overwelmed with the things that happened to me... the bonding that i found with all the people , actors, and production staff from my play - Alimyon. yesterday we took and escape all the busy pedicab noise and dusty roads of dumaguete and stretched our tired bodies at a beach resort somewhere at Bacong. laughing, sharing the fun times, drinking all these holy liquids, and at the same time sharing the great cries from our hearts because of some things, that we never imagined would happen.
Mayah Dulnuan,a friend and my stage manager, a theatre person. really congratulated me on how i was able to build a new family from different souls, who just met and established a long and lasting friendship. this alone makes me feel insane... everytime i am trying to get the tought of me graduating so soon, ay ugma na diay!

wah... also the fact that i am staying here in Silliman, gives me a feeling that well i am still and will be here, so no pressure!!!!!! i will still meet my crazy collections next june.. or more or less be with them this summer..... wah! you know the concept of parting ways and leaving some great people who became part of your daily itenerary! but that missing will not have its place soon, coz as i have said i will still be here hahah! teacher na ko! so minimize drinking and party bar hopping!

i think these reason makes me feel hmmmm basta i cant explain. for sure you will agree with me that this unexplained feeling is the term we call ----- Excitement... so excited ko? am i!!!! hahahah

well thanks to all people who became and are part of my collge life. you made my collge life one of the best or i may say close to the best or the bet part of my life..... love you all...........

2007-03-21T00:08:00.001-07:00

after the four years of waiting, nope i will include the one year escapades in the land of the rising sun - Japan...so a total of 5 crazy years in college... trying to get the most form tmy teachers, from the people around me and from the experience.... am i ready to get and fly high....?

well this question for sure haunts every college graduates, for no one really knows what is at stake for everybody out there.... it is as if going in a competition with billions of other souls trying to fit in a one seat of fame... but lately i discovered that well why will i rush in to that world if i know i would not be happy, trying to get those millions of money, yet my heart is craving for something that is always my love and my passion, and that is the world of performing arts.

whoa! it feels different having this feeling lately for i am also caught in a middle of a lot of roads whhich i am having hard time to understand... will my family be happy of the path i will be taking? are they expecting too much from me, knowing i am a sillimanian, the only in the family. humility aside, graduating with flying colours... well i really do not know. as of now, i am determined to explore more of my interests by teaching and with this be a good instrument of change with my drive to be on stage. and at the same time touching peoples lives with what i believe is great.

i am just so pleased and happy, when a cast of my play --- alimyon, Fitchy, is really becoming and making her name, in the field of stage. it is just overwelming for you know thta you help her to build more confidence and for sure she will agree with me that she learned from the expereince she gained from my play. that is really sometjhing that i will cherished for the rest of my life. seeing her yesterday at the seniors day, while doing a skit makes my heart roar and happy....

thank God for that avenue of helping me realize to really push on the limits on making a difference with what i got! well you have a talent why hide it? remember the parable of talents? that is one great fact that we should always remember when we speak of talents offereing and sharing!!

love you guys....

2007-03-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

2007-03-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

Escanyo, Dumaguete
March 14 2007
2:00 AM

dedicated to: Linwell, Marcus (a new friend) and my craziness

Luna

with three soul running
this vast desert of loneliness
all we could feel is emptiness
--- deep and real
but to see this one great masterpiece
as it signals the darkness sweet embrace
yet always sealed with one true kiss
as it gives spark to this deep blue fountain of life
as it caresses the feeling of pain
making us feel stupid and insane

o luna
after this exchange of mixture
--- traitor but adds us to our soul
we end up wasted and noisy
silent? shhhh
wanting to go to slumber
feel the sweet angels flying in the heaven's sky
but as we open our sight
as we take the next step in this roller coaster ride

we remember the moon
as the only witness in all acts
--- naughty or not

even for a moment
luna you made me feel blue
wanting not to stop
this interaction
this one night affair
the time
--- as it runs so fast
wait!

still we believe you will keep quiet
as we share this cup
make it a symbol
of love that is just a blaff

moon come and visit me once more
in my dream lagoon...

2007-03-04T20:23:00.000-08:00

Wahhhhhhh

all i could do is shout and be the happiest man on earth.... for 3 reasons....

1. My play was a sucess, and im getting good reviews from it, well there are some but i will say very few of them well you can never please evryone. But as a whole the play was outstanding. I am just happy for the fact that people stayed for 2 hours and 30 minutes watching the play. and that alone is already an honor. the Luce auditorium was full. heheheh though they are required...hahahha well yon.. im done na jud with that stressful play.. and hope was able to touch peoples lives, and really brought the meaning im the consiousness of the people who watched. lets promote gender and sexula awareness!

2. i am blessed with great, friends. the Alimyon productions, would not be a sucess if not because of the help of great friends... one text away and these people will just be there, like mushrooms in the forest and sure fire, ready to take the leap on helping me in all things. i commend Richu Kung, a kahayag friend, who became my caterer, or the food incharge... i never expected he will do all those things. Thanks Chung. To aiken Quipot, still a kahayag friend, who is always hungry when it comes to the magical stage and the perfroming arts, he makes me happy all the time, and injects me all those happy and fun jokes, to get away all those wrinkles and stuffs, he helped me with the make up and other things. as i have said, i feel secure when this Bubbly creature is around. To Nonito Cuizon, who sacrificed his own personal satisfaction of watching the play, because i asked him to take the video, yon, nagpugong sya to the highest para di sya mu laugh. thanks kaayo nitz.... Mwah!

Mga friends who are always there, Ratzel, Lyde, Anna, Ger, Easter and Husband, The Weekly Sillimanian, Portal Yearbook, Outheast Asia Organization, and the Kahayag Dance Troupe. Thanks for everything. Si ate Sharon Rose Dadang, Basta tanan who helped me. the teachers who required their lambs to watch... Maam Selibio, Maam Rina Fernadez, Sir Oracion, Sir Van Peel, Sir montenegro and maam Phoebie Tan.. and all those people who helped me.

And lastly to my actors... and my mucicians, si Noy and Jerry. Grabe Grabe.. These people made and gave me another family that i will treasure the next years of my existence. the people who listened, sacrificed their precious times,their studies, their love life... grabe.. thanks and hope you gained a good experience. i will be missing you all. actually im starting to miss you na.... but well we will see if naay repeat.

Thank you all.

3. My family, papa and mama, Ate amam, biboy, nikki, iris and roy roy. Grabe jud. these people are my wealth and my pearls that i have in my pocket. you will always be the inspiration that i have to be the best/. My father, came and watched my play... kakaiba yon, though he coud not comprehend the cenuano language, still he was so happy. Mand the play menas a lot to me, because, father and mother spent their 23rd Wedding anniversary on that date, March 3..... wah!!! grabe jud... Wa na ko masay...

But above all God... thanks for the big talent... and so i know i have a big responsibility.... help me always to do the best in all things you give me... love you God, and continue make me a tool of your love!

To god be the Glory.....

Stars are that far for us to know how far our dreams can go, if we will partner it with hardwork and dedication...

2007-02-06T01:12:00.000-08:00

Cup of life

The aroma...
the taste...
The beauty that is never a waste

Of marbles swaying on the ground
With Mother Nature soothing sound
Found these rolling pebbles
Need to blend with water's bubbles
Grinded, fine, leading and you will be blind
Like cupid's touch
With couple sensually acting in a couch
Mixed with white honey
For sure the feeling will be lively
For this is the cofee
a mixture, giving me high excstacy
in life's full of mystery
Still with this cup
I may say I'm on top
A different feeling,
as if swaying and dancing
shared with someone great being
blessed by the eternal who guides us in our living

cofee you complete me...

poem...
Silliman University Coop Store
12:36
la lang inspired lang po...
pasensya na di po ako national artist for literature...

2006-12-18T05:04:00.002-08:00

a poem I made right after I was captivated by the beauty of sunrise and the feeling i have last December 17, 2006 in my room with a special someone in my heart!

Wat this is for you~

Sigh---
by Claudio Ramos II

With the darkness wrapped in our senses
All we feel is the lust embedded in our innocence
Yes--- we both share
This secret love affair
Intertwining of fluids
That marks the start of the quest
--- remarkable and breathless
-sigh

As we touched each other's lips
All I feel is happiness,
yet fear also dominates
For this night might end so soon
Lord, please help me and,
continue to make me bloom
- sigh

With the embrace I feel secured
An unexplainable pain that I am willing to endure
Knowing that this feeling is different
in this society's judgment
Surely, more pain will come
Out of this stage realized with ignorance and arrogance
- sigh

As i dig down into the deep
All i feel is tiresome but very complete
Giving all my best,
the hell I care about the rest
Happy --- confused
If these feelings are meant to be abused
But this night--- remarkable and breathless
--- feeling senseless
There is greater tension of what lies ahead
- sigh

With the different images of plans in mind
as I wish to look on another beautiful sunshine
Thanking for this soul and this persona
Who brought additional inspiration to me feeling artista
Don't want to open the door
Don't want to continue the movement of time
As i get into my slumber
Feeling happy - yet afraid
Confused - yet great
With this penetration into my life
Indeed, Claudio is hooked up with a huge knife
- sigh

2006-12-18T05:04:00.001-08:00

2006-12-18T05:04:00.000-08:00

2006-12-06T18:21:00.000-08:00

Eat Notes
By Claudio M. Ramos II

Prepared?

Ding… Dong…ding…Dong

Few days from now, we Christians will be celebrating Christmas to commemorate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ with our families and loved ones. Our respective homes will be decorated with different lights, lanterns, Christmas trees, and Christmas will not be complete with out Santa Clause, with his magic sleigh, reminding us to be good or else will end up receiving nothing! Also, Christmas for us Filipinos is a season that we all look forward too, the misa de gallo with puto and other native delicacies early in the morning after the mass, the exciting Pinoy Carol, the gifts form our ninongs and ninangs, Noche Buena and a lot more that makes this season very special and indeed closer to one’s Pinoy’s heart.

In Cebu, where the 12th ASEAN Summit is taking place, the Philippine government is putting its best foot forward to impress our Asian brothers, doing all the needed preparations, investing millions of money and efforts just to give a good image to the visitors as they step and be dazzled with the wonders of the Queen City of the South and the Philippine Culture and as a nation as a whole. Surely this event will boost the economic level of our nation and will place Cebu in the tourism world map. As what my high school friend studying in Cebu right now said that Cebu now is indeed having a total makeover from widening of roads, painting of buildings and the different infrastructure, the newly constructed Cebu International Convention Center, and even the training of taxi drivers, police and military men just to give these visitors an experience they will never forget. But are we really that prepared to host such event? Couldn’t we do all these developments and improvements with or with out such event?

Why am I talking about these preparations? Like Christmas, we tend to do all these gift-wrapping, decorating, merry making etc., but setting aside the real meaning of this special event. Have we ever asked ourselves, if we as a Christian are prepared for the coming of the Savior Jesus Christ? You may think that we are just commemorating Jesus Christ’s birth, but let us always remember that Jesus promised that He will be coming back for our eternal salvation.

It is with great happiness that I am considering this year’s Christmas a very merry Christmas, aside from the delicious food, the reunions, and all other gatherings of high school friends and relatives, this Christmas is full of love and joy for I am sharing it with someone special, but talking about Cupid’s arrow hitting on me deserves another article. Happy indeed! Char!!!

As we all experience, Christmas, a season where in we forget all our problems and just cover these with smile and joy, we should also remember those people who considers Christmas as a dream that will never come true. In this country where poverty is considered common to most of its citizens, Christmas remains a fantasy – all these delicious food and gifts will just be limited to poor people’s imagination and sight, making this event an opportunity only for those who can afford.

As I am doing a list of people whom I will be giving gifts these Christmas, I was moved by a text message from the Ayala Young Leaders Alumni (AYLA) Association about the campaign of AYLA to help the people who were affected with the destructive super typhoon Reming. It makes me so sad and lonely for here I am having all these plans to make these holidays special and yet thousands of peoples in Bicol region for now aspire to breathe and to have a new start of their lives. Wishing nothing but safety and shelter for them to continue their existence, compared to most of us, getting all the chances, spending a lot and wasting money just to satisfy our wants. As Kuya Ron, mentor of the SU Kahayag Dance Troupe, who is a native of the affected region narrated that Bicol is still recovering from the destructions of past typhoons and now being attacked by another one, killing people and destroying millions of wealth and properties. Have we ever considered these events as we prepare for this Christmas…. It gives me the feeling of selfishness, because I could not stop myself from having fun, while these people from the street, from the ruins of the typhoon, and all other people who just wish to end up a day with food, and wait for another day of greater opportunity to live life in this cruel world for them.

Look at the big comparison that this nation has these days, down from the victory of Pacquiao to the preparations for the ASEAN Summit, to the destruction brought by Reming. It gives us two different sides of emotions; we should have as a nation. I could not ignore that one part of this country is celebrating its so-called greatness and on the other side mourning for the present condition they are in!

It is the preparation that matters here; we all know that this nation is prone to typhoons and other natural calamities, but still the government and each one of us are not doing anything to be ready with such event and here this summit comes, we are doing all the necessary preparations just to place this nation on a grand status leaving the poverty problem aside. Same with us Christians as we come and celebrate Christmas full of joy and fun, we tend to forget the real essence of this moment that God bestowed to us - the gift of sending His only son for our salvation. God could easily postpone His coming but because of the BIG L-O-V-E, He did suffer and save us His children.

Before we all leave this prestigious Silliman for our Christmas vacation, we should ponder to ourselves the real meaning of this celebration and how this celebration can change our lives and in what way this celebration can lead us in touching lives and making a big difference to others. In simple ways… yet coming from you heart will make this world happy and gay not only during this holidays but all through out the year as well.

Have a blessed Christmas and prepare for another year to rock on life!

2006-12-01T05:47:00.001-08:00

The Feeling of a Special Gift this Christmas!

i know that feb, or the hearts month is still far, yet this blog about love is kind a weird but well i may apply this to the month of December, and that is Christmas!!! heheheh
well i may say that i am in the clouds this moment for yes........ i am in love! hahahah Strange coz this is something very different....very special. i am trying my best to make it special! hahahah, do not know with the other half of this relationship yet, but well i am indeed in love!

yes... you got the feeling of always having him in your mind whether you are doing some other things, eating , and all other human activities... the feeling of becoming so excited everytime you see the name in your phone, or even smiling without reasons........... please help me is this LOVE!
hahahah!

"Claudio yes........... that is Love or just Ilusyon?", said the other side of me!

well, spending Christmas with your heart and mind set in a mood of red and surrounded with the feelings of Cupid's hearts is a special bonus from Snata Claus these holidays! heheheh!

Bitaw, im so thankful that i am feeling so blessed and happy these days, aside from the theme of this blog, its just that things are going in its right place and in their right time! well all i can sya is i thanked God for these and thanks for my friends... but on the other side, some friends do not understand me...all i can do is sigh and i feel so sad about it!

well that is life, a never ending rollercoaster ride, just waiting for its fuel to dry down and tthere it will stop! i know that this is just another cycle of that ride, hope i will be enjoying this ride... even though some people in the ride throw pop corns to you! well go good luck to these people! as long as you live it right and no one is at stake for destruction, well then Go!!!!

i think i am doing and writing another article that is reall so selfish and so i need to stop! hahahah!
basta this writing satisfied my mixed feelings right now, here in Scoobys Silliman! hahaha 10:28 sa gabii!
lyde thanks for understnading! love you!

2006-11-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

A call for budding actors

hehehello!

well its been a long time that i havent done any writings in this site. It is just that i am preoccupied with a lot of things and the preparations of my upcoming play! Yes, you read it right, i am in to my final recital play which is the Visayan Version of Lysistrata, a greek play written by Aristophanes! heheheh

Im conducting auditions and so far so good, the people are ok, but still i luck the presence of boys or the male casts. Hope all things will be well, and for sure i wil do all means to make this a big thing and be a footprints in the corners of Silliman!

Fiesta is coming soon, and i cant wait to try the humba and all the oily letson! sorry for mentioning this but, i just love these foods hahah! highblood na ni!
heheheh

well after that we will be having the intramurals, surely all will give their best to bring the bacon in their respective colleges and school. but it is so sad that the temperature or i may say the climate is becoming so destructive for it gives or causes headache and fever to some or most of us walking and enjoying the shady old silliman!

hay this writing is going nowhere!
heheh!

but guys love you all and im so happy to live life each day and each moment of my life is heartily dedicated to my Creator.mwah!

motto:

di lahat ng dugo nadodonate sa redcross- regla!

corny!

2006-11-02T05:10:00.000-08:00

i am back to end the term with all inspirations to do the things i ought to do... mounting another play(i mean the bigger one- Musicale) for my final recital that is starting to haunt my nights... dancing with the Kahayag Dance Troupe on its annual February concert... doing projects for the uplifment of cultural and artistic appreciation as the chair of the socio-cultural committee of the SUSG...

wow! these things are not easy and i know i cant do this alone.... hahahah! hindi ako si Darna, or si Super Ingo...ako po ay hamak na bakekang lamang! hahahah

but seriously i will try all means and ways to achieve these things not for a good reputation or so but to tell something about our rich cultural heritage as a nation and as a Pilipino! I'm not running for any government positions this coming 2007 elections,but just having this passion to utilize the culture thru arts... and this passion makes me a person of great responsibility, a person with great interest in the arts, and a person who considers the performing arts as his life...

Performing arts.... taught me a lot of things! as what my mentor kuya ronnie always say... DAHIL SA PAGSASAYAW..... and so i will also use that!

i believe that in this world we are assigned in specific areas and equipped with tools to be the best in that specific area! it is just growing and being the best rose in the yard... or water lily in the pond. if give the chance to be a bird, fly high and be the best bird in the sky! that is what life is teaching me ryt now... and i am in the quest of becoming a good instrument of the performing arts....

and so with this, i am hoping things will be well... for sure with God all things will be possible... To God be the Glory!!!

see yah!!

2006-11-02T05:04:00.000-08:00

Claude's Site

2006-10-23T04:33:00.000-07:00

im having one of the best times of my life and that is my vacation here in my hometown... yes indeed there is no place like home! im doing most of the household chores that i missed a lot, like cooking and feeding the chickens... hahahah! all i can say is that this is a great vacation togethere with my brothers and sisters... we always share the laughter and the gossips about people and the experiences... i miss the events in Buglasan specially the Festival showdown with my friends but well i made this choice.... hahaha! im excited and very nervous for this coming second semester. i am definitely sure that it will be a very busy and hectic schedule for im doing a lot of things... the kahayag concerts, the activities of the Socio-cultural committee and the southeats asia organization... but im sure with God's help it will be fine and my friends wgo are there to lend their arms open... hahah!!!

there is always time for everything
things that are for deeper meaning
as long as you give your best
surely you will deserve all the rest
life is a roller coaster ride
like the strong ocean tide
yet, its up to you to fight the big waves
that will surely be a glory and you'll be safe!
just enjoy this life here on earth
for there is a greater gift up there with GOD standeth sure!

mwah!

just a poem made from the noise here in the cafe!

2006-09-27T08:36:00.002-07:00

hello everyone!!!!

i just had my rehearsal for the play di coming monday!!!!!

the pressure i killing me... this is one of the best and one of the earliest gay play in the hitory of the Philippines... im doing all the thing i can do o that i wont put a bad track on this magnificent play im inviting you to watch and im sure ytou will have fun................

love you all!

2006-09-27T08:36:00.001-07:00

2006-09-20T10:07:00.001-07:00

Tired...

im so tired...

tired of the pressures of my teachers...

tired of the ambitious stars that i want to reach

tired of being a superwoman

tired of being noisy and active

tired of being the claudio...who is busy everyday

tired of the things that im doing evryday

but im tired of being LONELY... this kills me everyday.

at the end of one busy day, when i will lie down and caress my cute teddy bear and pillow all i experience are tears and sadness of me being a lonely individual who just aspires to be happy and end the day with a smile from someone who is just there to care and to love and be loved...

all i can say now while doing these pinwheels here in the Student Government office for tomorrow's peace day... if your with someone and this someone makes you happy and complete, treasure him or her for you are lucky to have them in your arms... always be his or her angel... love them and they will love you in return thus giving the whole world a great love leading to peace in this whole wide world...

PEACE be with You!

2006-09-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

2006-09-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

at sa wakas!!!

at last... i am part of this world! blogger...

hope to get and meet new friends here...

have fun and live life to the maximum level...